Kickstarter #2

My updates have been few and far between because I was getting ready with my second Kickstarter project that has launched today! :D
Details provided in the link below:


A WONDERLAND LINOCUT PRINT PROJECT

When did I suddenly need external valadation?

Warning: A Pity Party follows this message. Continue at your own risk and avoid excessive eye rolling when possible.





     This, inevitably, has become my life since my hypothyroidism kicked in. While an introvert at heart, I still enjoyed going out with people with the occasional late night drinking that didn't see an end till 2a.m. The spontaneous road trips. Blind dates. Getting lost in the mountains...The early 20's can make you feel invincible.

     So at first, I was pretty bummed that I just didn't have the energy for anything past a Netflix marathon. Than, as the months went by, I grew into my new lifestyle. I accepted that Friday nights were no different than any other night and I become comfortable with my new routine. I enjoyed my own company and didn't see a need to change.

     It was only when I moved back to Colorado that I realized how much I missed my friends, and how I was sliding into spinsterhood. Almost two years later, its finally dawning on me that its way to early in the game to settle down and let life pass me by.

     Let me tell you a quick story my dear readers. Before I had let my thyroid get the better of me  and I packed up my life, I was infatuated with a co-worker. He hadn't worked there very long and I was about two weeks from the inevitable downward spiral. (Wow, melodramatic much?) Nothing really happened, but before I left he asked me out to coffee, which I couldn't make to, but the gesture was sweet all the same. It was a nice little token to take with me. That was the end of it really. Months go by, we chit-chat now and than, but nothing serious, and nothing that was making me hold my breath.

     When I moved back to Colorado, it took a few months, but eventually we did  hang out (no coffee, and nothing scandalous for those that want to jump to conclusions). I had a great time and I felt comfortable in my own skin. It was quite easy to tell thou, that I was no longer the same girl that left a year ago. I no longer had interesting things to say. My life was a rut and nothing new was happening. I.e. There was no job or hilarious story to relay. My life had become nothing to brag about. More so, my physique was gone. Stress eating and general weight gain associated with hypothyroidism had has taken its toll. I went out thinking I could pick up right where I had left off when I ran away, and came back that night feeling like a failure.

     For the first time in so long, I wanted external validation for the way I was living my life.

     Chronic health issues can feel very isolating. My energy, pain tolerance, and anxiety levels varies from day to day. So how do you stay reliable for work, friends, lovers, or anything really with a set schedule? Do you find it discouraging at times?

How do you cope?

Thyroid Related Merchandise

Hello Readers :)

     Since the successful campaign of my recent kickstarter,  I have put alot more focus into pursing my dream as an artist. A self-sustaining artist would be ideal, but I'm okay with taking baby steps for now.

     So what does this have to do with hypothyroidism? It has come to my attention that there isn't much plublicity for a condition so many people are afflicted with. As someone with thryoidism, I don't want to feel shamed. While "proud" isn't the right word. I feel many people do not take this hormone imbalance/ auto immune disease fairly serious and have been told that I am overplaying my hand.

     I never want to feel that way and want to have a small reminder that yes, I have a lifelong condition, but I am managing it to the best of my ability and I will not be discouraged. 

     Yea yea yea, but you still haven't mentioned WHERE this post is going...

     With my recent love of block printing I would like to make small bags to hold my prescription bottles (when I need more than a weeks worth) that have a design handprinted on the front.  I have already created a mock up design that measures a little under 4''x5''inches. It is probably not the most adorable of images, but it showcases the thyroid around the trachea with a banner underneath that simply reads "strong."

     If enough people show interest, I would like to make a small production run of these bags. So where does your opinion lie? Do you like the idea? Does it seem a bit extreme? Is there another image you would prefer printed on the outside of a small prescription bag?

     Let me know in the comments below :)

Cheers,
Maddy

Two Months in a Nutshell:

     


Last we spoke I was starting to take vitamin D supplements, I began a kickstarter campaign and I admitted to the internet I had agrophobia. I had moved back to a state where I had friends for support, but didn’t have the nerve to drive anywhere. It was a pretty stressful time in my life.

     So where am I two months later?

Feeling pretty damn great, actually!

     Vitamin D isn’t a cure all pill I take everyday, but since I have been taking it ive seen a vast improvement in my joint paint, energy levels and even stress. I still have some difficult days with all those mentioned, but those days are few and far in-between. I would seriously recommend having your levels checked by a doctor if your thyroid medication just isn’t cutting it!

     Another reason I feel like im walking on sunshine these days is because my kickstarter was successful and I feel like its giving me some purpose and hope. I hope that doesn’t sound as melodramatic as I just read it, but its true. I wasn’t sure what to do with health that fluctuates and a sense of dread when I leave the house. Art has always been a wonderful therapy for me and I am so happy that I can make my hobby into a small-time business for the time being!


     As for my agoraphobia? Its improving. I try to get myself out of the house everyday, be it time with friends, or just a drive around the neighborhood. I am thankfully to have friends that support me and can work around the things I am working on in my life. 

And that is about where I am these days folks. Sorry I haven’t been around much recently but I thank everyone for the kind words people leave :)




Cheers!

Vitamin D - Did I put myself in a rut?

Getting blood work done always brings around a strange mixture of emotions. On one hand, I want my results to come back with golden stars, A+ and two thumbs up. However, I am getting blood work done to hopefully find what is causing a kink in my health. If everything comes back great, than what the hell is causing my symptoms?

 I am happy to say the recent blood work panel came back with a lot of optimal scores. There were only two main things I needed to fix: I needed to exercise more (very very true) and that I have a high Vitamin D deficiency. Optimal scores are between 30-100, but my doctor recommends a score of 50 for woman. I was a 21. Yikes!

The more I looked into vitamin D, the more my deficiency made sense. Vitamin D is not just a vitmain, its a hormone that supports bone and immune health. It can cause muscle pain, joint pain, and in many cases stress and depression. Eventually this became a vicious cycle. I would feel sick and not go outside to exercise, hence not getting any natural sunlight (a excellent source for vitamin D). And because I wasn't getting outside for that natural cure, I was feeling worse and I would get stressed. Eventually the whole thing becomes a rut. My doctor has thrown some supplements into the loop, and in a few months I will go back to see if this helps. If things seem to be improving, I will highly recommend others get it tested.

Cheers, 
Maddy 

P.S. On a side note, my Kickstarter is now half way thru its funding period! You can see more here: Classic Fairy Tales in Print

Kickstarter

For a long time, art has been a therapeutic outlet for me. I have, quite literally, hung up the phone after a break up and immediately picked up paper and pen to start drawing. Since my hypothyroid diagnoses, I have focused more and more on artwork because that is where I am truly happy. It only took a failing thyroid to show me that.

So where is this going you may ask?

Starting today I have launched my own Kickstarter project! This small crowd-funding site allows me the opportunity to follow my dreams.

In no way am I asking for handouts. I am just immensely proud of myself for sticking to my guns and wanted to share the news! More information is available below:

Kickstarter: Classic Fairy Tales in Print

Agoraphobia

     There is no way to sugar-coat this: I have agoraphobia. No, this is not self-diagnosed. This was noticed in others, and subsequently in a therapist I was recommended to see for my general anxiety disorder when I refused to take medication.

     Before I press on, lets go back to agoraphobia 101. It is a fear of being in places where it is hard to escape, or where help might not be available. It can be in a crowd, or wide open spaces, wherever you feel there is a danger. Agoraphobia sometimes occurs when a person has had a panic attack and begins to fear situations that might lead to another panic attack.

     This is what happened to me. When I went through about 4 months of panic attacks (which included chest pains, dizziness, and a feeling that I couldn’t breath) , I was commuting to and fro in a town where all my close friends were at least an hour away. My social life was at a low point and most excursions were solo. So most panic attacks were thus happening when I was by myself.


     I no longer wanted to be in a car alone. I associated the dreadful feelings of panic attacks with driving and couldn’t shake the idea that if I got behind the wheel it would happen again. To explain my thought process any further and utter fear of driving away from my home would sound totally irrational. Which is exactly what a phobia is (agora*phobia*), an irrational fear typically disproportional to the actual danger posed.

     In theory, I have nothing to be afraid of. Besides my thyroid issues, and some back problems, I have a clean bill of health. Those chest pains I feel don’t mean i’m dying, just that I’m panicking.

     Some days are better than others. A friend visited me once and we drove an hour to Nashville to a hockey game. About 20 minutes in, I started to panic and tried my hardest to remind myself that nothing was going to happen and she reassured me beforehand that we could always pull over. Despite that, by the time we arrived my legs were literally numb and I was walking around the parking lot thinking I was going to faint. 

But I did it. And that's what i’ve had to remind myself over and over again. I do those drives when I have to, and as stupid as it may sound, I am immensely proud of myself when I can handle any drive over 30 minutes.

     The largest hurdle is any attempt at a social life mostly because I let very few people know about my agoraphobia. Instead of being upfront and honest to friends why I can’t visit, I make up excuses. Ashamed that I am “weak” and unable to explain in an articulate matter why this is so hard for me.

     Just two years ago I could handle 10 hour drives alone, daily commutes into the mountain, solo hikes...now its embarrassing to have to admit how much of a shut-in I’ve become. Its not something I want to be and I try, but some days I just don’t see any improvement.  Other days it doesn’t make sense. Today I went on a 2 mile walk alone with no issues, but getting a text inviting me to have lunch just 15 minutes down the road makes my heart race (for all the wrong reasons). 

I wish this was more motivational, and more helpful to others. Unfortunately I’m still figuring it out. I understand what causes my attacks, but not how to overcome them. It can just be terribly lonely sometimes and I wish I had let more people in on whats been going on sooner.

     Things have been getting better thou now that i’ve moved into an area that forces me to get out of the house. Seriously, who wants to be inside when Colorado is your backyard?